Student for life

Half way through yoga teacher training I have decided I don't want to teach. I want to be a student, I want to be taught. Lord I ask you to take over and allow me to be led by you. I have no idea what anyone needs, including myself. I feel misery led by fear. I need you to take complete control. I can't live like this. I beg you to have mercy on my soul and mind. Whatever you ask of my service is the only peace I have in this life. I am in hell, I am in pain, I am in my own misery. This suffering is total misery. I am lost, I just want to die. What is happening here. Help me please, have mercy and pour your grace upon my soul, clear my mind, clean my heart. Although unworthy of this I ask anyway. Show me father, I beg you to show me the way!!!!