Seeking Life

Feeling a little lost today and I am pretty sure it is by my own fault this time. I seem to test the waters periodically. I am not sure if I do this out of fear, or if it is just the ego testing out this new peace. I hear the warnings but move forward anyway. Maybe it is just rebellion or satan showing himself. I know that I will continue to make mistakes and this is how I will keep learning. I fear becoming prideful in my faith and I think I jeopardize my spiritual confidence because of this. I need the dependency on my creator and sometimes I think I am just more comfortable when I am needing Him. So, when all is well I tend to mess it up a bit and find myself searching to be back in His arms. I fear that I become so in love with God that people with not understand my position. I am so absolutely sure that the only way to happiness is by being completely dependent on God and completely detached from anything or anyone of this world!! I have come to realize how crazy this sounds to most people. I desire to be used for God's purpose only. I am sure that God has a plan for each and every one of us and it is to fulfill his plan.

Father, I ask you to forgive me for taking risks with my soul. Please forgive me for not being content with whatever position I may find myself in. I thank you for your unconditional love and patience. I am grateful for your holy spirit which guides me daily. I am grateful for your presence and grace that you have blessed me with. I ask you to remove any impurities from my heart, soul and mind. I thank you for the free will to choose and the conscience to recognize!!