Night travels

Lord I am not sure what is going on. It feels as though something is pulling me in. Is this you? I felt one release into stillness but came right back. When I awaken I often feel I was edging back there. What are you showing me? I love the way you teach and I trust you to slowly show me the way. I feel as though this is You. I know You are there. I hesitate letting go. I have no knowledge of this kind of thing. Am I gonna be a weirdo? I already feel different from others and live in a bubble amongst this earth. I am only happy when surrounded by You. I don't think I ever truly belonged here. I don't want to talk about nonsense and casual conversation and I am impatient
and untolerable to the normal earthly behavior. Lord I have to learn to stay in the present without allowing these feelings to move me. It is so difficult and awkward, this statement is without complaining. I am just not sure how to have relationship and conversation without You in it. Nothing else seems important or worthy. My prayer request this morning is for myself, may You show me these things in order for me to be a better person of Christ. I have no other desire or purpose but to serve You. All I need is to belong to You. These are all your people who You desire to save and they will know it one day whether they miss the call or answer it. I am humbled when I say that I will remain a fruit loop as long as I live in this world, it is the only way I can continue on this journey. I depend, trust and rely on You alone. Father I beg You not to desert me and leave me all alone. I will surely die without You, please continue to protect my soul so that I will be with You one day. There is no place to rest my head and I want to go home.

I know I have to stay, this just does not make sense to my mind but speaks clearly to my soul. O my God please show me that I am not insane, crazy with made up thoughts, I don't know anyone else who thinks this way.